Admit it, Moms. You've all done it. You'll do
it again. You may even be doing it right now. What is 'it' to which
I'm referring? Ignoring your husband! You remember him - that guy
who schleps off to work every day, checks the fluids in your car,
and has a key to your house?
I confess, I too am guilty of this crime. Just
last night my husband asked me to do him a small favor. I said,
"Sure, honey, I'll get right on that," in a rather
sarcastic tone, as though he had some nerve to expect a favor from
me of all people! Well, I made sure he knew just where he fell on my
list of priorities. You guessed it - right at the bottom - after
reading to the kids, checking my email, and wiping down the kitchen
counters. Sure, I eventually got to him (the next morning), and
that's what's important, right? Not quite.
Moms, I propose that you resume paying some
attention to that person who was once, however briefly, the focal
point of your existence. There's a quote I love that goes something
like, "The best thing parents can do for their children is to
love each other." Sometimes we get so busy being a family that
we forget to be a couple. Kids need to see that mom and dad love and
need each other. This gives them a sense of security and stability.
I will share with you a little list that I
compiled and hung on my refrigerator. It suggests small yet powerful
ways that we can say "I love you" every day without saying
"I love you."
Put your arm around, hug, kiss him for no
Hold his hand a lot when you go places
together: in the car, at church, any public place.
Show extra compassion when he is sick.
Offer to make him tea, or run a bath.
Write him a note or buy him a card and
leave it in his shirt pocket or in his car.
Plan a date (make dinner reservations, hire
the babysitter, etc)
Massage his back, neck, or feet for 20
Without saying anything, do a household
chore that is normally his responsibility, i.e., taking out the
The next time you start to spend $5 on
yourself, spend it on him instead.
Make it a point to say something kind about
him to someone else (he won't know about this, but it will make
you feel good and will have an effect on the way you look at
him. Trust me, this works!)
Thank him for the every day things: being a
good provider, a good father, taking out the trash
Surprise him with his favorite meal for no
Talk to him about current events that you
know interest him, even if they don't interest you!
If you pray together: be sure to vocally be
thankful for him in your prayers. It will mean a lot for him to
hear you thanking God for him. If you don't pray together:
start! It will work wonders in your relationship!
He works hard to provide for you and his
children. Spend that money wisely. Excessive debt and shortage
of money puts unnecessary strain on a marriage and will stress
him out, making him grouchy!
When you run errands, be sure to ask him if
there's anything he needs or wants while you're out.
Be sociable and friendly with his friends,
work associates, and especially his family, no matter how you
REALLY feel about them.
Be polite: say "Please,"
"Thank You," and "You're Welcome." We often
have a tendency to be more gracious to strangers and mere
acquaintances than to our own spouses.
This list may not work miracles, but doing
just one of the items suggested each day can help you get back some
of the "old feelings" that you used to have for the man in
your life. Give it a week - I bet you'll see a difference!
Here's to happy couples and happy families!
Jacey Reynolds is a
stay-at-home mother of 2 and author of "Your Happy Baby,"
a booklet which teaches a simple method for getting your baby on a
schedule and sleeping through the night. To subscribe to a FREE
Weekly Newsletter with great tips for parents and families, go to www.yourhappybaby.com.